The 'Small' Operation

I was considering if I should do this post. But then again, what the hell, I had to start ranting to release my pent up pain and suffering.

With just 1 week left before the end of 2010, my wife-to-be suggested I go for a Circumcision in preparation for the wedding night. If you don't know what a circumcision is, 'Male circumcision is the removal of some or all of the foreskin (prepuce) from the penis' (wikipeda.org). Contrary to most beliefs, the main benefit from having the foreskin removed is for hygiene. The foreskin has many folds so the region is known to 'store' bacteria and dirt and in American Pie terms Jizm.

This will be a very long post so I'll divide it into sections:

The Plan:
With almost one month left to the wedding, Agnes proposed that I go for a circumcision as her brother has just undergone one a few weeks ago. According to her bro, nah not painful only a bit of a hassle when peeing. She said better go get it done if you want to get married. I immediately weighed the pros and cons of having to go thru the surgery in my mind, I thought of Kenny Sia's blog entry in 2006 when he was considering having it done as well. http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2006/05/zhng-my-penis.php
I totally agree with what he said that a circumcised thingy pees with a lesser mess than one that hasn't gone thru circumcision. Like a sprinkler and a squirt gun. I decided that removing the foreskin should have its advantages and considering the breakthroughs modern surgery, got use laser want what, people say won't feel a thing. So we booked an appointment with the surgeon on Thursday 30th December 2010. I had to finish up work on Friday the 31st and after that I'll have a long weekend, enough for a rest before I start work again on Monday.

The Doctor's Appointment:
We came to the Surgeon's office saying, I want to do the surgery right away before New Year Comes. He's shocked like, Today? Then I said yeah let's go. Then I asked him you use a laser to cut it right? He said no there's no laser in here. At this moment I'm starting to have second thoughts about the whole thing. I was imagining that the surgery will employ something like a light saber, so I thought my thing will be clamped on to something, then the skin is stretched and clipped, in comes a light saber slash and off with the skin. That's how I thought the whole process will be like, remember Star Wars Episode 1 when the Darth Maul plunged his light saber into Qui-Gon Jinn's chest it took him like a few moments to even register the pain, now that with a couple of shots of anesthetic I shouldn't even feel any pain at all.
Now I'm starting to have thoughts about all the scissors and knives the surgeon would use, it'll most probably be something like a scene from the SAW movies. Despite all the doubts I have, Agnes assured me that her bro just went through with it at the same hospital so it shouldn't be a problem. Too late to back out now, I was led to the surgery room after having my blood samples taken.

Pre Surgery:
I had to get into one of the backless blue robes they hand out in hospitals and show some sexy back.

I was still in the mood to camwhore

Getting on the surgery bed, I was chatting away with the surgeon's assistant as he prepared for the surgery. In came the surgeon as he inspected the area down there. He said the hair was obstructive so he asked the assistant to shave it clean. I thought they'll use an electric shaver but he brought out a standard Gillete Razor. I was thinking at least use a Mach3 for less irritation! But the assistant did a very good job, no cut wounds and he was really thorough in clearing the area, maybe I can call him again to help me shave before the wedding night.

The Anesthetic:
The surgeon will only utlise local anesthetic so I'll still be awake and still feel the rest of my body. I almost screamed when he mentioned where he'll inject it, right in the centre of the poor little dude. Imagine a needle shot through your shaft, front and back. This is where I realised I have zero tolerance for pain. The surgeon explained that most people required only 2 shots of anesthetic to make the area feel numb, but after 2 shots I still yelped when he pinched the area. He gave me 2 more shots, he explained people who drink alcohol tend to have a resistance to anesthetic effects then he gave me an extra shot, 5 shots in total. Considering that I can last 7 tequila shots, I should have asked him to give me 2 more shots for safe measure.

The Procedure:
I was lying on the surgery bed, with a cloth covering the bottom part of my body so I can't see what's going on. The surgeon explained that he's going to clean the area 1st, but I yelped out in pain as I feel an incission being made. I'll use a clock face to explain the procedure. The 1 to 12 on the clock being the circumference of my little buddy, the surgeon started making the incision at 3 O'clock and peeled away the skin till 6 O'clock. The first 1/4 of the cut is like blardy toture to me, the experience doesn't feel like being cut by a light saber at all. It's more like an electrical saw cutting away the skin, I can feel the surgeon cutting the skin bit by bit then pulling it. Like using a can opener to open the lid of a can, only that my poor little guy is the can :(

Imagine this being applied to your most precious part

After cutting, he pulled the skin, then immediately stiched it up, I can feel a cool liquid that I can only imagine it to be blood. For reasons I don't understand, most of the pain I felt is on the 3'Oclock to 6'Oclock region, maybe that's where most of the veins are, when he passed the 6'Oclock I stopped feeling the pain until he finished the procedure almost 40 minutes later. He told me to get up and take a look at his handy work. I was supprised he was done, I couldn't feel the rest of the cuts.

Post Surgery:
After the surgeon was done, I sit up straight and saw my precious with blood and stitches all over. I almost shed a tear. The assistant immediately cleaned it up and applied bandage. Then in comes a female nurse, she was giggling and suggested to wrap it up like a Lemper (Indonesian Rice Cake) -_-
I got on my feet and was led out of the surgery room to a bed rest area.

That's how I looked like after the whole ordeal

After 10 minutes of rest I was able to get changed and wait in the waiting area for my medication. The surgeon warned that I have to control my thingy, if it gets up, the stiches will break then I'll have to come in to get it done again. He told me to think of aeroplanes if that's to happen -_-
Got home, changed and tried to go to sleep while I can still feel the pain from the cuts.

The Morning After:
Woke up as usual at 6.20 in the morning, I had to take a bath without getting the area down there wet. Peeing was also a hassle as I have to be really precise in the aiming and had to clean it up thoroughly less it gets infected. I put on some comfy clothes for work and off I go. Getting into the car was a problem, I had to drive myself to work. I drive a manual so each time I had to step on the clutch or shift my right leg from accelarate to brake I would scream a little. Manage to get to work just fine, but I didn't feel like doing much, just wait for the time to go by and after lunch I would just finish up the workers pay and go home.

The preserved foreskin in a bottle for souvenir

I dunno if the lost of blood or lack of sleep is making me drowsy, but we'll like to wish you a Happy New Year. Wish you would get something new like little dave got a new 'makeover'. See you next year!